Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Filthy Minkey and Wolly Willy...

So Christmas has came and went... The kids went ballistic with their presents, and I as a mom trying to over-compensate for the last few Christmases went completely overboard with presents. But I don't get to do it often, so kiss my ass LOL

They woke up at 6:15am! Good god. Why so early? Because the adults were all tired and worn out from cooking and baking that we didn't want to deal with them anymore so we sent them to bed at 7:45p with explicit instructions that if they don't go to sleep that Santa WOULD NOT COME. For once, they believed us and went promptly to sleep. Hmmm... If only it would work every other night of the year. Ho hum.

When I was shopping for stocking stuffers I just happened upon mini Wooly Willy's. I couldn't believe my luck. I can remember how much my sister and I had when we were little with them... Ahhhh wistful memories....


To top off the Christmas wonderment... We had to go to my father-in-law's house. Which normally wouldn't be a problem for me. I love my father and mother-in-law. They're salt of the earth, unless they're being annoying, which isn't often.

But... All good things are swiftly spoiled.... My perfect step sister-in-law, we'll call her Muddy, was there. She's one of those people that you know, if they weren't a part of your family, you wouldn't be friends with her otherwise. She's a condescending, rude, full of herself, top heavy, heavy make-up wearing, gaudy jewelry buying, freak of nature cause she's Mexican and tries not to be with blue contact lenses and has a really weird 3 year old son who is actually 5 but looks like a three year old and hasn't changed a bit since he was 3. She considers herself a photographer, and I guess in Texas they don't know any better cause her pictures are beyond shitty. And I'm not tooting my own horn. They're just THAT shitty.

So not only did I have to put up with her annoying ass and her SIX...COUNT THEM SIX... Annoying, destructive, RUDE children... But I also had to put up with her MONKEY. Yes, a monkey. Like the woman needed another rat even tho she had six of them. And they consider it their child. It's a fucking monkey for Christs sake. 

I'm one of those people who believe that wild animals should remain wild... Iguanas are pushing it... Anything reptilian can stay in the wild. All I can think of when I see a person with a pet monkey is that movie Outbreak. The entire time I was there I was waiting for the animal to go skitzo on me and attack me and give me monkey herpes or something. 

I will say at the beginning I was strictly anti-monkey, didn't want anything to do with it. My real sister-in-law actually made a comment to my mom that I didn't care about the monkey, which is true, but it made me feel bad. Cause I guess it made Muddy feel bad, and even though I don't care for Muddy, I don't want anyone's feelings getting hurt. 

(In the midst of all this I got a migraine. For some reason, unknown to me how and why, I was more friendly AFTER my migraine than I was before. Dunno if it was the ibuprofen talking or what, but it was odd.)

So, showing Muddy my Scentsy wares, I finally got over being trepidatious about the filthy minkey. And let her climb on me. She gave me monkey kisses, which, I will tell you.... I really wanted to liberally douse myself in anti-bacterial sanitizer. Kinda weirded me out. 

I would never personally have a monkey as a pet. That's just too wild. Dogs and Cats are meant to be domesticated. If monkeys were meant to be domesticated, then we would have had monkeys instead of cats. They're icky. And human like... As I told my husband... She's as small as a fetus. LOL enough said.

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